It is utterly confucius
in the audacious
extreme that delicious
and scrumptious
bunnies and eggs are Easterlicious
for children, too atrocious
early, on a Sunday joyous
seeing if the morn be propitious
with bumptious
bunnies chocolatious
and later on expeditious
for eggs, rambunctious,
in wide open spacious.
But what do these, fractious,
have to do with one another? Is this facetious?
Or possibly seditious?
And what, in all conscientious,
do these have to do with Easter. I’m serious!
All that chocolate better be lubricious
by libations aqueous
and other foodstuffs nutritious
to be cautious
and stop intestinal bloating bodacious,
and prevent tooth decay malicious
or the trip to the Doctor will be hellacious.
Wait. What did I just say? This is flirtatious
with error and tendentious
in an orientation fallacious
oh please help me Saints Ignatius
and Aloysius
I don’t want to dwell mordacious
I want to choose to be vivacious
and full of gracious.
So we must stop the marketing mendacious
and learn to be perspicacious
and morally efficacious
or sagacious.
Do not be pretentious
or celebrate obnoxious!
Keep true Easter close, I plead, most anxious.


Christmas has come surly

Days getting shorter and the nights longer,
there’s snow deeper, air crisper, floors colder,
pressure to buy gifts, light the house to cheer…
yep, means Christmas has come surly this year.

Hearing that yuletide soundtrack blaring in
the car, the mall, grocers, clinics walk-in,
even the toilet’s not immune, oh God,
a Christmas so surly should be outlawed!

In days with our duty to businesses,
to keep Christmas a commercial success,
we must prime the economy early
so there’s no wonder it has come surly.

It seems that if I knew more history
I could trace back before the fake snow tree
revive the reason this season began
and control the anger, do all I can

to be a happy and true Christmas man.