eagerness tensions my hands and
i strain to hold my breath
to keep gut worming laughter
my big plan
smiles beyond previous prankage
light years ahead of my crazy purple elephants
way better than a nonexistent school closing blizzard exciting kids out of bed
over and above cheerios painstakingly super glued to breakfast spoons
well evolved from strawberry jam forced into toothpaste tubes which took hours to clean out ahead of time
this was the big one
i had topped it all
stepping toe to toe
i thought hard
what if i was going too far
what if this was all for myself
what if this one hurt someone
The older kid slumped down the stairs half an hour later
sleepy eyes unsuspecting.
Inside I cringed,
a lamb to the slaughter
she would have been,
if I hadn’t hidden it away.
Finally the youngest came down
eyes wide and looking around.
I served him his breakfast too.
He sniffed it.
Stuck his tongue in experimentally
eyes on me
looking for a sign.
I gave nothing away.
I realized, too late, that
I had nothing to give.
It was so Parentally Correct
My wife would be so proud.
The older kid ate on oblivious.
The younger kept looking, eagerness
they looked up at me
i bought you guys some new mittens
and washed them last night
they should be in the dryer
can you both please go get ‘em
choose who gets which colour
Billy and Joe get to wear gloves.
i pick up the paper again and screams
erupt seconds after a terrific snap
i chuckle and pull on my string to unfurl
my super secret April fool’s banner
and wait for happy eyes to rush back
The truth is out there and, surprisingly, on Fox. Don’t believe me? Check it out here!
As part of the A to Z challenge I will be posting a new silly poem each day during the month of April. This was suggested by Cindy at
Each day will feature a letter of the alphabet. The thought of using the omegabet did cross my mind but I decided against it as it doesn’t, then, match the URL nor does it have 26 letters which is important as you may read later if (you stop reading here then you won’t but you shouldn’t really be reading this bit. I mean it. Stop.) you do carry on.
I’m going to do this for several reasons which I’ve thoughtfully provided below in a list:
- in celebration of a long awaited Spring
- the first day of the month of April is an exceedingly silly day at any rate
- there are 26 letters in the alphabet and that will lead, naturally enough, to the 26th of April which is a special day in my life as it will be my 30th Anniversary (shared, coincidentally, with the 30th Anniversary of my wife, wow, small world)
- because it isn’t there yet (× 26)
- silly poems are not written enough
If you haven’t had the chilling experience of visiting Night Vale I encourage you to take the opportunity and sample horror delivered up amusingly and with an absurd but expert touch: Welcome to Night Vale. I’d like to thank my daughter Emily for introducing me to this podcast. Thank you Emily.
If you need further incentive here’s an image of a cat from Night Vale:
There once was a man from nearby Guelph
Who kept his large organ on a shelf.
But his first son, named Jock,
Strapped up there to play Bach
Instead wrote a great ‘Prelude to Self’.
2015 – With all due reverence to any men from Nantucket
There are strange tales told of the midnight runs
that happen with those who moil for pizza
The salt, the cheese and all that doughy fun
will incanerate you like cheap samosas
The stuff that we value
in the holiday before Yu-
le so stretches the senses
and the band on the pantses
that I wonder if it’s the bird
we are stuffing or us.
- 2014/10/13 -