A True Love Haiku

Orchids not roses
for true love should last longer
and smell not as sweet.

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Databases are an Essential Art

data related
column meaning constrained rows
lends order to life

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Christmas has come surly

Days getting shorter and the nights longer,
there’s snow deeper, air crisper, floors colder,
pressure to buy gifts, light the house to cheer…
yep, means Christmas has come surly this year.

Hearing that yuletide soundtrack blaring in
the car, the mall, grocers, clinics walk-in,
even the toilet’s not immune, oh God,
a Christmas so surly should be outlawed!

In days with our duty to businesses,
to keep Christmas a commercial success,
we must prime the economy early
so there’s no wonder it has come surly.

It seems that if I knew more history
I could trace back before the fake snow tree
revive the reason this season began
and control the anger, do all I can

to be a happy and true Christmas man.

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Morals on the loose

To an atheist
morals are a wind-blown whim.
For me they’re a right.

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lego my eggnog please

there is no l in eggnog
no n in lego
but all the others are shared

and rid of the l and n (and duplicates)
we’re left with only an ego
intact

mere coincidence?

i think not

consider:

it is possible

to float lego upon eggnog
to drink eggnog from lego
(and verily, for connoisseurs) to construct a lego mug within which to swill eggnog
to philosophize that if you nog eggs then you must lego of them at some point
—and left long enough
to lego another lego can be forever cemented with drying eggnog

why haven’t the conspiracy theorists noticed?
clearly there is a conspiracy afoot
to quash the lego/eggnog conspiracy theory itself
by them

i’ll not let go
exactly
gone is my
gregariousness
i’ll watch you
as
i play with my lego
sip my eggnog
i’ll watch you
too

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Something that holds memory

In the Wikwemikong Unceded Indian Reserve
on Manitoulin Island
a woman
of some quiet authority
and grace
generously gave me the name
of various objects in Ojibwa.

Seeking to see
her breadth I finally
pointed at my laptop.

A computer
I said
and she responded
without missing a beat
with a word I couldn’t pronounce
much less spell.

I scratched my head.
What does that mean?

It means something that holds memory.

So when I rest on my modern laurels
all content with my latest toy
complete with new power adaptor
I’m often jolted back
to that honest woman
who had a better name for our
cutting edge
technology than we do
and let out a long, heated, breath.

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Billy and Bessy Cheesecake on a Toasted Almond Crust

What can I follow up New York with? Cheesecake of course. This is a recipe of my own concoction which has gone over well with friends and coworkers. It’s interesting on the palate with the tartness of the goat cheese.

Ingredients

  • 2c almonds, ground and toasted
  • 4tbsp. butter (melted)
  • 3env. unflavoured gelatin
  • 1/2c water
  • 500g Billy goat’s milk cheese (softened) [that’s a goat that’s a tom boy]
  • 500g Bessy cow’s cream cheese (softened)
  • 1 & 1/2c sugar
  • several squirts almond extract (real)
  • 1c heavy cream (18% or greater)
  • dulce de leche (heated, the amount depends on how sweet you are)

Modus Operandi

  1. in medium glass bowl combine almonds and butter, press mixture into pan or cupcake cups
  2. place water in small sauce pan sprinkle gelatine over and let stand 5 minutes, then stir over low heat until completely dissolved
  3. in mixer beat the cheeses until smooth, add in sugar until well combined, gradually pour in gelatin, cream and almond extract until you have a smooth liquid
  4. pour mixture into pan or cups and refrigerate for at least 3 hours, you can freeze it too if you wish but remember to thaw half an hour before serving
  5. heat the dulce de leche until it pours easily and drizzle on top

Yield

  • Serves 20 polite people or about a dozen people like me
  • Gluten free
  • Goes well with fresh fruit if you prefer that to the dulce de leche
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